Blog
Marriage does not mean a woman gives up her right to say no
When you are raped there is shame, and it is not for us to feel shame, it is for them.
These are the words of Gisèle Pelicot, who has shown remarkable courage in speaking out about her experience of being subjected to drug-assisted rape and sexual assault over decades by her husband, and scores of other men. Her words and determination to shift the shame of sexual violence from survivors onto perpetrators has resonated with countless survivors and women across the world.
Many survivors tell us that they feel shame after being raped or sexually assaulted, and as if they were somehow to blame. These feelings can be complicated further by the perpetrator of the violence being somebody known to them. Most rapes and sexual assaults are perpetrated by somebody known to the victim. This can be a friend, a work colleague, a family member, or as in Gisèle’s case, a husband.
No matter what the relationship between the perpetrator and victim, no matter how long they have known each other, no matter if they are married – sexual activity without active consent is rape.
The legal status of rape within relationships, and specifically within marriages, has a complex history. The first prosecution of a man who raped his wife while they were living together happened in 1989. An earlier prosecution of a man who raped his wife took place in 1982, but they no longer lived together.
Our Oral History details some of the ways in which early Rape Crisis workers and activists fought to make rape within marriage a crime, and to support survivors who had experienced it. Rape Crisis activists worked to confront the then widely held notion that in signing a marriage certificate, a woman gave up her right to say no.
Activists behind Edinburgh Rape Crisis Scotland described advocating for rape in marriage to be criminalised from 1978, years before any prosecutions for the crime happened in Scotland.
We lobbied around rape in marriage years before it happened… that had been there as a thing, right from the start, from 1978 they had been letter-writing about that one. [Lily Greenan][1]
Workers from Central Scotland Rape Crisis met with the Procurator Fiscal (PF) to discuss how poorly women who reported rape were experiencing the justice system described the Procurator’s attitude to the crime of rape within marriage:
I do remember us arguing with him that rape within marriage was a crime, and him refuting that… the Rape Crisis groups in Scotland… consistently argued that before it was accepted. [Kate Arnot][2]
In 2010, Rape Crisis Scotland ran the Not Ever campaign. The campaign aimed to challenge harmful attitudes about what a ‘real’ rape is, including rape within marriage.
But it’s clear that we still have some distance to travel in terms of public attitudes towards rape in marriage and long-term relationships in the UK. In 2018, a YouGov survey commissioned by the End Violence Against Women Coalition found that 24% of people believed that non-consensual sex within long-term relationships is usually not rape.
There is significant evidence that these attitudes have a real impact in court rooms, and ultimately, on the conviction rate for rape. We were disappointed that the Scottish Government has dropped proposals for a pilot of judge-led trials for rape cases, which could have mitigated against the impact of these attitudes on the outcomes for survivors seeking justice.
Still, rape in marriage is not illegal, or is not recognised within law, in many countries across the world, including Saudi Arabia, Sri Lanka, the United Arab Emirates, and South Sudan.
The United Nations also reports that so called ‘marry your rapist’ laws are still in place in several countries, including Russia, Bahrain, Iraq, and Thailand. These laws set out circumstances in which a rapist may have their conviction overturned if they go on to marry their victim. In some countries, these laws specify that rape convictions can be overturned by marriage if a perpetrator who is over the age of the consent raped an underaged girl then marries the victim. Women and girls’ organisations have expressed deep concerns over these laws, and their effect of forcing women and girls into marriages they have not consented to.
We stand in solidarity with all survivors who experienced rape within marriage, and forced marriage, and with all those who are fighting to end the legality and normalisation of these acts of violence.
No matter how long ago it happened or who the perpetrator was, if you have been affected by any form of sexual violence, our helpline and member Rape Crisis Centres are there to support you. We will always listen, care, and believe you.
[1] https://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/resources/Woman-to-Woman-1.pdf p144
[2] https://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/resources/Woman-to-Woman-1.pdf p114
No matter what the relationship between the perpetrator and victim, no matter how long they have known each other, no matter if they are married – sexual activity without active consent is rape.
The legal status of rape within relationships, and specifically within marriages, has a complex history. The first prosecution of a man who raped his wife while they were living together happened in 1989. An earlier prosecution of a man who raped his wife took place in 1982, but they no longer lived together.
Our Oral History details some of the ways in which early Rape Crisis workers and activists fought to make rape within marriage a crime, and to support survivors who had experienced it. Rape Crisis activists worked to confront the then widely held notion that in signing a marriage certificate, a woman gave up her right to say no.
Activists behind Edinburgh Rape Crisis Scotland described advocating for rape in marriage to be criminalised from 1978, years before any prosecutions for the crime happened in Scotland.
“We lobbied around rape in marriage years before it happened… that had been there as a thing, right from the start, from 1978 they had been letter-writing about that one.” [Lily Greenan]
Workers from Central Scotland Rape Crisis met with the Procurator Fiscal (PF) to discuss how poorly women who reported rape were experiencing the justice system described the Procurator’s attitude to the crime of rape within marriage:
“I do remember us arguing with him that rape within marriage was a crime, and him refuting that… the Rape Crisis groups in Scotland… consistently argued that before it was accepted.” [Kate Arnot]
In 2010, Rape Crisis Scotland ran the Not Ever campaign. The campaign aimed to challenge harmful attitudes about what a ‘real’ rape is, including rape within marriage.
But it’s clear that we still have some distance to travel in terms of public attitudes towards rape in marriage and long-term relationships in the UK. In 2018, a YouGov survey commissioned by the End Violence Against Women Coalition found that 24% of people believed that non-consensual sex within long-term relationships is usually not rape.
There is significant evidence that these attitudes have a real impact in court rooms, and ultimately, on the conviction rate for rape. We were disappointed that the Scottish Government has dropped proposals for a pilot of judge-led trials for rape cases, which could have mitigated against the impact of these attitudes on the outcomes for survivors seeking justice.
Still, rape in marriage is not illegal, or is not recognised within law, in many countries across the world, including Saudi Arabia, Sri Lanka, the United Arab Emirates, and South Sudan.
The United Nations also reports that so called ‘marry your rapist’ laws are still in place in several countries, including Russia, Bahrain, Iraq, and Thailand. These laws set out circumstances in which a rapist may have their conviction overturned if they go on to marry their victim. In some countries, these laws specify that rape convictions can be overturned by marriage if a perpetrator who is over the age of the consent raped an underaged girl then marries the victim. Women and girls’ organisations have expressed deep concerns over these laws, and their effect of forcing women and girls into marriages they have not consented to.
We stand in solidarity with all survivors who experienced rape within marriage, and forced marriage, and with all those who are fighting to end the legality and normalisation of these acts of violence.
No matter how long ago it happened or who the perpetrator was, if you have been affected by any form of sexual violence, our helpline and member Rape Crisis Centres are there to support you. We will always listen, care, and believe you.
RSS
